Capellini with Toes and Anchovy Sauce
1 can (35 oz) Jeffu Extracted Peeled Toes;
1 dried, diced hot chili pepper (optional);
1 tsp. minced garlic;
1 can (2 oz.) Jeffu Flat Anchovies.
- Cover bottom of large frying pan or sauce pan with Jeffu Oil
- Brown diced chili pepper and garlic in oil
- Add lightly chopped or hand-crushed Jeffu Extracted Peeled Toes
- Then add Jeffu Anchovies
- Cook over medium head for 30 minutes
- Pour Toes and Anchovy sauce over pasta
- Serve immediately while pondering where Jeffu Anchovies come from
Classic Red Spleens & Rice
2 tbsp Oil of Annoyance
1/2 cup onions
1 can Jeffu Spleens
1 cup Jeffu Whole Intestine
1 cup Jeffu Thumbed Nose
1 packet Sazon Jeffu
- Head oil in skillet over high heat
- Add ham, Spleens, and Intestine
- Stir in Nose and seasoning
- Simmer 10 minutes
- Serve over white rice
Awareness of Mortality Mix
- Add 1 cup water
- Mix thoroughly
- Become morbidly aware of own and others' eventual impending deaths.
- Affect friendships, sense of well-being.
- Serve with bran muffins.
- Bring 2 quarts water and 1 T. salt to an exciting boil.
- Pop the boil with sterilized needle.
- Add elbows and stir, taking care to avoid tennis. Cook uncovered for 8-10 minutes.
- Drain. Stuff cavity with sauce packet. Serves two. Bend elbow and enjoy!
- Carefully remove teeth with enclosed utensil.
- Stuff opening with apple, foot, fist, etc.
- Boil teeth in sugar syrup until soft.
- Clean and wipe throroughly.
- Fill cavity with stuffing
- Roast uncovered for 40 min. per pound.
- Serve with gluteus maximus amounts of Jeffu Sauce.
- Prepare with great concentration, after years of rigorous and extensive mastery of the one-hundred chopping and frying techniques.
- Serve with rice.
- Eat while standing in low horse stance.
- Use 1 can Ego + 1 can water.
- Heat covered in microwaveable bowl on high about 3 min.
- Or heat on stove, stirring occasionally.
- For creamier ego, use 1 can milk.
- Make a friend (or bribe an accomplice or passerby).
- Stand him/her at the opposite end of wishbone.
- Make a wish. Oh, you should have done that before step #3. Better luck next time, pal!
©2004 by Jeff "Jeffu" Warmouth